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20 Things You Need to Know From Your Parents Before They Die

Nobody wants to imagine what life would be similar without their parents. It's certainly non fun to recall about them passing away and the grief to come.

Just, every bit your parents get older, y'all may offset to call up virtually all the wisdom, experiences, and memories they hold.

Jump ahead to these sections:

  • Questions to Enquire Your Parents Most Their Childhood
  • Questions to Enquire Parents About Their Relationship or Dear Lives
  • Questions to Inquire Your Parents About Their Careers or Hobbies
  • Questions to Ask Your Parents About Life Lessons and Values
  • Questions to Ask Your Parents About Your Family unit and Family Tree
  • Questions to Enquire Your Parents So You lot Know Their Final Wishes

Their stories are role of their legacy. Have some time to sit down down with your parents and enquire them to tell you their favorite stories . A great fashion to prepare for the grief of losing a parent is to interview them.

To help out, we've come with a list of sixty questions you lot can use as prompts. If whatsoever of your parent'south answers intrigue y'all, go on earthworks deeper!

Questions to Ask Your Parents About Their Childhood

Information technology is certainly difficult to imagine our parents as children. This is your opportunity to find out all about what that experience was like for them.

Here are 10 questions about their childhood to get your interview started:

one. What is your very first memory?

This is the perfect question to become you started. Have your parent think back to their very first memory, and then ask follow-upwardly questions from there.

two. What was your neighborhood like?

Discover out more than about where they grew up and their community. You can also dive into questions well-nigh their school and what that feel was like for them.

3. What was your relationship like with your parents?

It should be interesting to hear what information technology was similar for your parents to grow up with your grandparents.

Once they go going downwards retention lane, you lot tin then ask follow-upwards questions about your grandparents.

4. What was it like growing upward with your siblings or without siblings?

You may know what your parent'southward relationship is similar with your aunts and uncles in their adult life, but dig into what growing upward together was like.

Did they fight? What was their favorite game to play together? If your parent was an but child, ask them what that was similar.

5. What kind of food did you like growing up? What was your favorite meal?

There'due south something most food that elicits potent memories. Asking virtually the kind of nutrient your parent ate and loved growing up is certain to ignite some great chat.

6. Who were your role models and why?

Finding out who your parent looked up to when they were growing up can tell you lot a lot about why they've become the adult you know and love.

7. Who were your favorite celebrities? What were your favorite TV shows, movies, and songs?

Regardless of how old yous are, entertainment looked totally different when your parent was a kid. It's fun to hear what their favorites were back in the day, and yous might even get to share a giggle about their first celebrity crush.

8. What was the world like when yous grew up? Did any major newsworthy events happen during your childhood?

Perhaps your parent lived through a war, natural disaster, advocacy in technology, or other major events.

Their reply to this question is bound to be interesting and tin can give you a lot of insight into their experience.

9. What was the nigh hard part of your childhood?

When getting a full history, it'southward important to hear about the challenging experiences likewise.

You might also observe out that your parent faced some serious obstacles in their childhood that made them the extraordinary person they are today. Try to listen with an empathetic, non-judgmental ear. These events are long in the past.

10. What is your favorite memory from your babyhood?

Always end on a positive! With this last childhood question, give your parent an opportunity to reminisce on the expert old days.

Hearing most their favorite childhood retentivity is sure to bring a smiling to both of you.

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Questions to Ask Parents Nigh Their Relationship or Love Lives

When my grandma was in her 90s, my parents saturday down and interviewed her. She had escaped Nazi Germany, and they knew that they had to document her feel for future generations. Just they found out something else also — she had been married and divorced before she met my grandfather! My parents had no thought and were shocked.

Interviewing your parents on their relationships and love lives might bring some surprises, but can also bring clarity.

11. Did you lot have a offset beat out? Who was it? Did yous ever act on it?

Get your parent thinking about their love life by starting right at the showtime.

12. Tell me about your first dearest.

You can skip this question if your parent tells you lot that their start beat out became their first love, but in all likelihood, these are two dissimilar people.

Dig deep — don't be afraid to ask some details of their relationship and why they broke up (unless, of course, their first dear is your other parent — how sweetness!).

13. How did you meet my other parent?

Even if yous've heard this story a million times, now that your parent is an open volume, take them tell it over again. You never know if there's a detail they may take left out all these years.

14. What has your relationship been like with them?

Whether your parents' human relationship was good or difficult, it's an important function of your family unit's history. Information technology might give yous a new perspective to hear about their relationship in their own words.

xv. How would you lot depict your spouse?

Information technology isn't often that we go to hear our parents talk about the person they love and what they love about them. Be open and curious!

xvi. How did y'all know your spouse was the one?

It'due south possible that your parent may never take thought this through themselves. Information technology will exist sweetness to hear how your parent realized their soulmate was the one, and maybe in that location was a unmarried moment it dawned on them that they can share with yous.

17. What was your wedding ceremony like?

Become all the details! Who was in that location? Where was it? What was the planning like?

18. What's your strongest retentivity from your hymeneals day?

Find out if there was a moment that actually stands out.

19. Is there anything yous wish y'all had done differently in your dearest life?

It is of import to find out most regrets. Yous'll probable learn something yous never knew about your parent, and in that location might be some essential life lessons to unearth.

20. What is your most romantic memory?

This could exist a date, vacation, or just a special moment frozen in time.

Questions to Enquire Your Parents Near Their Careers or Hobbies

People spend then many years defining their careers and hobbies. It's oft an important piece of their legacy. While yous probably knew what job your parent had while yous were growing upwards, you might non know specifics about their passion, dedication, or career trajectory.

21. Why did you lot choose the college you went to?

Choosing where to proceed your education afterward high school is a huge decision. Ask details on how your parent landed at their college. If your parent didn't go to college, skip to question number 24.

22. What were your college days like?

College is an incredibly unique time. Your parent was probable a totally dissimilar person during their college years.

This is a great opportunity to discover a side of your parent you may never have known existed.

23. How did you cull your area of written report?

This is a swell transition question to open up up the conversation about their career.

24. What was your very first job? Tell me about it.

Their first job may not accept been in line with their future career. Maybe they worked at the local grocery store or equally a camp advisor. If they start to talk about their career, that's great too.

25. What'south your to the lowest degree favorite job y'all've ever had?

Just like some of the previous questions, this answer tin divulge some great life lessons and values.

26. What's your about favorite job yous've ever had?

We use the language "favorite" rather than "best" intentionally. All-time can sometimes add a value judgment — they may call up that the best job they e'er had was the ane where they made the nigh coin or had the most of import title — even if information technology wasn't the job that made them the happiest.

27. What three words would yous choose to describe your career?

Asking for 3 words is a cracking way to help your parent summarize the whole of their career. It's not a strict rule. They can elaborate every bit much as they similar!

28. When you wait back at your career, practice you have whatsoever regrets?

The intention of this question isn't to make your parent feel bad about something they wish they had done differently in their career. Information technology's an honest look at their history, and there are many lessons they can laissez passer onto future generations.

29. When you look back at your career, what are yous well-nigh proud of?

This question really gets at their legacy. What your parent is virtually proud of in their career is likely a big part of the bear on they made in the globe.

xxx. What are some hobbies or work you did outside of your career that you lot've loved or are proud of?

You can ask near sports, volunteer piece of work, or anything else your parent did that they're proud of that was outside of their 9-to-five.

Grief & Social Media

Enter your e-mail to download your gratuitous guide to navigating grief online.

Questions to Ask Your Parents About Life Lessons and Values

Your parents accept been teaching you life lessons and values your whole life. Your experience of what they've taught you lot may really exist different from their intention. Hear in their own words the life lessons and values they've picked up over their lifetime, and what they wish for you and future generations to know.

31. What is the most of import thing your parents ever taught y'all?

Your parents likely learned some of the lessons and values they taught you lot from their ain parents.

It will be interesting to hear what your grandparents taught your parents and what they learned from their own life experiences.

32. What was your greatest adventure?

Your parent's greatest adventure will, no incertitude, exist a fascinating story to hear. In that location'southward as well always a lesson to unearth out of a peachy take a chance.

33. What is the funniest matter that always happened to you?

It will be refreshing to laugh for a moment (if you haven't already). Whether or not this story is embarrassing, there is likely a lesson that came out of it.

34. What are the near important things in life?

Hear in your parent'southward words what the virtually of import things are in life. This is bound to spark a conversation about their values.

35. What do yous wish you could tell your younger self?

As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Values and lessons will emerge for you and future generations as yous hear from your parent what they wish they could tell their younger self.

36. How did your values change as you got older?

So many more lessons to be learned hither!

37. What were you near wrong about?

While nobody likes to admit they were incorrect, beingness incorrect sometimes is a crucial part of life. It'south how we learn.

Finding out what your parent feels they were near wrong most, can requite you lot insight into their choices, obstacles they may take overcome, and who they've become equally a issue.

38. What was your parenting philosophy?

Popular parenting philosophies have undergone massive changes over the years. Philosophies your parents utilized with you might exist completely different from how you raised your own kids.

This answer can also help y'all understand why your parents may accept made some of the choices they did.

39. What is the happiest moment of your life?

You can likewise ask if your parent has a 'happy place,' and if this place has inverse throughout their life.

40. Are there any sayings that band truthful for you?

Are at that place sayings your parent has told themselves over and over to help them become through a tough time or to remind themselves of what is really important?

Questions to Enquire Your Parents About Your Family and Family Tree

Having a family tree is a wonderful mode to preserve your family'due south history. Plus, the more you find out about your family, the easier it volition be to understand why your parents are the way they are, and therefore why you are the manner y'all are.

41. Who is the oldest relative y'all remember?

Matriarchs and patriarchs alter with each generation. Find out who your parents considered their elders.

I love to tell my family about my Great Bang-up Aunt Greta and the twenty-dollar neb she sent for my birthday each year!

42. Is there anyone in our family that I haven't met that you want me to know about?

Perhaps there is an estranged family fellow member you've never heard of. Or there might exist a family member who died young that your parents never told you about. Now'south a good fourth dimension to detect out.

43. What did your family do to celebrate holidays when y'all were growing up?

Spark their memories by asking them what their home smelled like on their favorite holiday. You might even find out about old family traditions you want to restore.

44. Tell me the story of each of your kids' births.

Even if you've heard your own birth story many times before, yous never know if a new detail or funny tidbit might arise.

45. Describe my siblings and me.

It's very rare to hear another person describe you, and this can be a really special matter to concur on to. Y'all can ask them to choose three words if that helps them answer.

46. If y'all wanted to teach each of us something, what would it exist?

Accept your parent respond for each of your siblings and you separately. The lessons they want to impart on each of their children may differ.

Fifty-fifty if some of these answers get uncomfortable, try to remain judgment-complimentary, curious, and push through for the sake of having a fully documented life history.

47. Did you lot e'er discover out anything surprising nigh your relatives or family tree?

Perhaps your grandparents had an estranged relative that they didn't find out near until 1 of their parents passed.

48. Who was your favorite relative?

Your parent may take had a favorite aunt, uncle, or grandparent. Have them tell yous all about this person and why they loved them and so much.

If it's someone you've known, you might even get to see one of your own relatives in a dissimilar light.

49. How did your parents meet?

This is a perfect leeway for finding out as much as possible about your grandparents. Once they end this story, you can enquire any other lingering questions you may still take near your grandparents.

50. Can nosotros depict our family tree together?

This is a fun action that can yous tin can practice together to ignite more chat about each of your relatives and family members.

Grief & Social Media

Enter your email to download your free guide to navigating grief online.

Questions to Ask Your Parents So You Know Their Final Wishes

Talking nearly death and dying is never easy, but it's crucial to understand your parent's final wishes so that y'all can get their wishes right when the time comes.

51. Would yous like the states to have a commemoration of your life together before you pass away?

Living funerals are a wonderful manner to celebrate your parent's life before they pass away. It can be like a family reunion of sorts.

It's a slap-up opportunity for them to meet people they haven't seen in years, and to hear the impact they've had on their loved ones with living eulogies .

52. What details of your funeral are important to you?

This is ane of the first questions Cake asks in our end-of-life planning tool . Your parent might choose to exit all of the details upward to y'all, or they may take a specific vision for after they pass.

53. Are there any physical markers in your memory that you lot want us to exist able to visit?

In that location are various options — they may want a gravestone or to be buried in a mausoleum with a marking. Or perhaps they would exist more than interested in a living memorial , such equally a tree planted in their honor.

54. Practice y'all want to exist buried, cremated, or something else?

Understanding what your parents desire to do with their bodies afterward they laissez passer is important. This is also a good time to open upward a dialogue on this if you have a preference.

There are other options likewise, such as biodegradable pods or urns, or you can even turn ashes into diamonds. If they choose burial or cremation, observe out where they would similar their torso or ashes to be kept.

55. Are there any traditions you would want usa to follow on the anniversary of your passing?

If your mom lights a candle each year in memory of her mom's passing, for example, she might like the idea of you carrying on the tradition when she'southward gone.

56. Do you lot have all of your affairs in order? Who should nosotros contact to understand your final wishes when you pass?

Your parent may need your support creating a volition or cease-of-life programme, and this is a good opportunity to help them.

If they already have a plan in identify, information technology's of import to know where to notice it once they pass.

57. Who are the people that y'all trust to brand medical decisions for you if you can't communicate?

It's wise to find out if they have a specific family member in listen, especially if that person is you. You can ask why they chose the person they did, and this might aid you sympathise their wishes more than clearly.

58. If we take to make medical decisions for y'all, what do you lot want u.s.a. to know?

You might as well desire to also ask well-nigh medical documentation. Practise they have a DNR or any other documents that express their wishes?

59. How do you want to exist remembered? What legacy do you hope to leave behind?

Your parent might have to recollect about this one, and that's okay. Permit for some silence so that they can requite an reply that'due south meaningful to them.

lx. Is at that place anything I didn't enquire that you desire to talk nigh?

Leave this question totally open for your parent to answer however they'd like.

After the Interview

Y'all might exist wondering what to do with the interview once it's complete. It depends on the medium yous used to capture your parent's answers. Did you transcribe it, audio record it, or videotape it? Regardless of the method, it's a skillful thought to kickoff with a thorough edit.

If you transcribed it, you could add photographs, artwork, and mag cut-outs to transform their life story into a scrapbook. If you recorded audio, y'all could create a video by playing the audio over a picture slideshow of your parent's life. If y'all videotaped information technology, perhaps cut it with some pictures and dwelling videos to brand a movie about your parent'due south life.

You can always enlist the aid of a professional person artist, editor, or videographer for any of these projects. They brand corking give thanks you gifts for your parents, and they are also wonderful to show at funerals, memorial services, birthdays, holidays, or to future generations.

Quotes nigh parents and parenthood may help inspire you farther.

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Source: https://www.joincake.com/blog/questions-to-ask-your-parents-before-they-die/

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